Day 20 - How easy it is to use Gonal-f

This is my 5th day of Gonal-f injections, and I think I'm getting pretty good at it! My hand does get a bit shaky to begin with, but once it's in, it's all good. So far, no skin irritations, no bleeding. I did have a bit of a mishap this morning where I couldn't remove the needle from the pen, but otherwise no dramas.

Today I've added some pictures of my prepared shoot-up area, with a description of the whole procedure below.

Preparing the injection site

My nurse recommended that I inject after I have a shower, because I'm already nice and clean, otherwise I would have to swab my stomach etc. But I just wash any lotions from my hands, throw on my bath robe and I head out to the Shoot-Up Area.

Preparing the Shoot-Up Area

I've chosen the bench next to the kitchen to be my Shoot-Up Area. It's close to the fridge where you should be keeping your injection pen. I keep my roll of paper towel and sharps disposal unit on there, and give the bench a quick spray and wipe down before I start. I lay down some paper towel and grab the kit from the fridge.

The prepared Shoot-Up Area with all the necessary bits

Preparing the Gonal-f Pen

My kit has a whole bunch of screw-on needles that come in little sealed packs. Once I remove the lid on the pen, I peel off the seal on the needle pack and screw it on to the end of the pen. There's a small window that indicates the dosage amount. I dial the end of the pen and stop when it reaches 150. Check there's no air bubbles. Then I'm good to go!

The prepared Gonal-f Pen with needle

Get down to business

OK, usually I inject below my belly button and to the side, where there's plenty of fat. And I will alternate sides every day. I grab a nice chunk of fat between my thumb and forefinger and insert the needle at a 90° angle. Once it's in, I let go of the fat, let it rest in there for a little bit, and then press down on the button at the end of the pen. Hold it down for 10 seconds, then remove the needle. Easy!

Needle Disposal

I screw the outer cap back on to lock it on to needle, then unscrew the whole thing and toss it into the yellow sharps container. Done! Then I pack everything up ready for the next day.

I've found the whole "injecting myself" thing deceptively easy. Almost too easy. Thank God SOMEONE put a lot of thought into it, because you can't really screw it up. I hope the close up of the needle doesn't freak you out, but it really isn't as scary as I thought it would be. I can hardly feel it.

Good luck if you're trying this for the first time!

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Day 17 - Sniffing and injecting drugs

I conquered the Gonal-F injection yesterday! I have to say that this is the part (or ONE of the parts) that I was dreading about this whole cycle. The thought of having to inject myself in the stomach…(shudder).

Thankfully it all comes in a very convenient little pen, with very easy to follow instructions and accompanying DVD. Needless to say, I was incredibly nervous about my first injection. I read the instruction booklet, and then watched the DVD (which wasn't any more enlightening). I prepared my "drug administration bench". This is where I keep the nasal spray and it's right next to the fridge where I keep the Gonal-F. I had my cotton wool, tissues, syringe disposal unit, Gonal-F pack and I lay it all out on paper towel.

When I took the cap off the needle, I immediately thought I would puncture my internal organs - it was that long! Luckily I enough layer of fat to protect my precious innards. But it honestly did not hurt! I was expecting it to be something similar to getting a needle in my arm, or even getting a blood test. But it's much less painful than that.

So, look at me now! Confident needle user and drug sniffer. Now that's something to write home about.

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Day 15 - Enter the next phase

Okay. So let's recap. It has been 15 days since I met with the Nurse Coordinator and started taking Synarel.

LMP - Last Menstrual Period

Usually a normal person would start Synarel and they would get their period within the first 10 days. I only just got mine today! My acupuncturist  reassured me that it was normal for Synarel to delay your period. And as I ovulated so late in my normal cycle, it was normal for me to have delayed for 5 days.

I started spotting last night, and I noticed my period is a little different than usual. It's definitely a lot lighter in colour and flow. Cramping is a lot worse. That may not mean the same thing for you though, because I rarely experience PMS symptoms at all. So a little bit of cramping is quite a new thing for me.

Hot Flushes

So one of the side effects of Synarel is hot flushes. I was told that you experience menopausal symptoms when taking Synarel. So I was picturing a red, sweaty face and a thin, blouse clinging to my sweaty bosoms. That's what happens in the movies isn't it? The reality is, your core body temperature increases. And the best way to tell is when you still feel hot in a cold room.

Now, I live in Perth and it's the middle of summer with 38°C days, so it was a little difficult for me to tell the difference. However, since starting Synarel 15 days ago, there have been a few nights where I woke up because I had over heated. I was so physically hot, that I had to sleep like a starfish. I couldn't sleep on my side, because I got too hot with my legs together. I also noticed that (Gross-out Alert!) when I went to wipe myself on the toilet, my nether regions were...hot...I know, WTF? My lady giblets were radiating heat. I'm pretty confident that's not normal, even for 38°C days.

The Next Phase

So what next? As today is Day 1 in my menstrual cycle, I start giving myself Gonal F injections tomorrow. Scary! Hubby starts taking anti-biotics today. I've booked in for my next blood test in 8 days.
I think this is the phase that pumps up those eggs, ready for harvesting!

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Day 12 - Emotional relapse

I've been in for my blood test and the nurse has just rung with my results. I was tested for my progesterone levels and pregnancy. She told me that I wasn't pregnant and my progesterone levels are still high, so I should expect my period to arrive by the end of the week.

Grr! I'm already on day 33!! This is ridiculous!!


I started to feel so stupid. I had actually let myself think that my period hadn't come yet because I might have been pregnant. What...a...FOOL! Then I started to doubt how my body was reacting to the chemicals. I wasn't feeling noticeably bad side effects, however, the same thing happened when I was on Femara. I felt OK at the time and then that IUI cycle was cancelled because my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to do. The doctor couldn't explain it! What if that was happening again?

And then I thought, these drugs aren't going to work. This IVF cycle isn't going to work. I better get used to hearing the same thing from the nurse every time she calls me with results, because I was looking down a long history of failures. You're not pregnant. FAIL. We'll have to cancel this cycle. FAIL. But it will still cost you $$$$. FAIL. You're welcome to try again next month....FAIL!!

How long will I have to keep on trying? And failing? Wasting money? Wasting time? Losing hope...

I'm not going to lie. It spiraled out of control for me. I shut out my husband for 2 days. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to him. I had convinced myself that he didn't love me. He didn't care about me. It was emotionally and physically draining. I had to forcibly drag myself around the office at work the next day.

But I got better. Time to myself helped. And working really helped shift my focus away from my issues too.

Well? Is it PMS or drugs?

I still don't know if it was PMS or drugs. But I would have to say that the drugs just amplified the stress. All these niggling little issues just worked their way up to the surface, and like weeds, they just fed on the drugs that I was spraying up my nose. These issues are nothing new, they're things that I've kept in the dark recesses of my mind. All of sudden, they just break free, get out of control and send me into the foetal position.

But one thing I do want to say is, regardless of whether it is PMS or drugs, those issues are still real. Those are real fears that I have, and drugs do not make them any less valid. It really pisses me off when people just disregard your little "hissy-fits" by saying "that's just the drugs talking." No, I'm doing the talking, the drugs are just making me louder...

…I mean, haven't they ever been drunk before?

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My first IVF Cycle begins

I'm currently on Day 10 in my IVF cycle.

I've been taking Synarel since my meeting with the Nurse Coordinator on 20 January. I spray Synarel once in each nostril in the morning and at night for 7 days. It goes down the back of my throat and doesn't leave the most pleasant taste. Then two days ago (Day 8), I cut my sprays back to one spray in the morning and night. You can find out more info about Synarel here.

Moodiness

I did feel quite moody the other weekend, just after I started taking Synarel. I was hyper sensitive, I just felt really glum and I had to force myself to function that day. And I know it was the most pathetic things that set me off. But it lead me to start worrying about the whole IVF process. "Will it be successful?" "How are we going to afford it?" So many questions. When my husband got home from work, he came to give me a hug because I obviously looked so gloomy, and I nearly burst into tears. But then the next day I was right as rain.

PMS or Chemical Side Effects?

The other night I was laying on my bed clutching my abdomen, crying "Ow! My ovary hurts!" I also noticed this morning, I had a few little sharp twinges in the same spot. Hhhmm...not sure what that meant. Then I realised, of course, it means I'm about to have my period. I was thinking so much about chemical side effects, I'd forgotten about PMS. Then I thought, was I just super sensitive because of PMS or drugs? I dunno.

Now, my menstrual cycle is normally 30 days, and I'm approaching Day 31. I'm usually pretty regular, but Synarel has probably delayed my period. As I'm on Day 10 in my IVF cycle and my period still hasn't come, I expect I will have to go in for some blood tests. And then my next round of drugs should be starting soon.

Tomorrow I'll be contacting the nurse to find out what bloods I need to do and what my next step will be. I'm excited, but nervous at the same time.

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Synarel

Synarel Nasal Spray

So, I've been using Synarel since I started my IVF Cycle. Synarel is commonly prescribed for use for IVF programmes. It assists in decreasing the amount of oestrogen produced by the ovaries. This  means they can control your normal cycle and prepare it for subsequent stimulation of the ovaries to produce eggs. I think my acupuncturist explains it best, "It suppresses your natural hormones that want to release those eggs. It holds those eggs in there so they can be harvested later."

It is also used to treat endometriosis, as it thins the lining of the uterus wall.

Using the drug has been pretty easy. From Day 1 to Day 7, it's just one spray up each nostril in the morning and night. Then from Day 8, I reduce it back to one spray in one nostril in the morning and night. Then my period should be due around Day 10 or Day 11, which means I would start on my next round of drugs?

I was told to expect menopausal symptoms but thankfully, I haven't really suffered from any of the described side effects. I've listed some of those side effects below.

• Hot flushes - I have been so sweaty lately, but it's hard to tell if it's the heat or the drugs. I've been told that you can tell because you still feel hot in a cold room...so, nope, not a problem.
• Change in sex drive - Hhmmm...no?
• Vaginal dryness - Que?
• Headaches - You may experience estrogen-senstvive migraines or epilepsy. But thankfully, not for me!
• Mood changes - Happy one day, stabby the next. Sure, that's normal isn't it?
• Depression - Eh! I've had a few bummer days, but that could be PMS.
• Acne - As you know I'm being treated for acne, but I'm still getting more than usual at the moment. It's still manageable though!
• Muscle pains - Yes! Sometimes my legs feel a bit achy and sore. Muscles are a bit more tense as well.
• Decreased breast size - I don't think I've noticed anything...
• Irritation inside the nose - Nope
• Pain and/or swelling of the joints - Not really
• Change in weight - I wish I could lose weight!
• Insomnia - Sleeping like a baby, snoring like a lumber jack.
  
• Tingling feeling of the skin - Nope.
• Increased hairiness - Nope, that's what a razor's for! LOL
• Hair loss - Nope.
• Blood pressure change (high or low) - Nope.

So far so good! I've remembered to take the spray everyday. I haven't experienced any strange symptoms. I'm just waiting on the next step in the cycle.

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Starting IVF

Today was my first appointment with the nurse coordinator at Concept Fertility Centre. I'm starting IVF. It's kind of exciting, but Oh-My-God it's daunting. The whole appointment went for an hour. She talked about cycles, hormones, procedures and drugs...and I got to leave with my "show bag" of drugs and permission forms.

I must have looked a little overwhelmed as all the information just washed straight over the top of my head, because the nurse had a little giggle at my blank cross-eyed stares.

So anyway, she described the procedures and what happens during egg collection and when they replace the egg (transfer it back inside). She explained all the different drugs I have to use: the nasal spray, the pills and the injections. She even had a demo pen that I could practice injecting myself with. And she briefly went through the cost (that sends a little shiver down your spine).

They normally start a cycle on day 21. As I'm already on day 22, I could be starting it today! I'm just waiting on my test result to see if my progesterone levels indicate if I've already ovulated. If I have ovulated, I can start spraying up my nose and get this cycle underway.

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